I was diagnosed in December 2007 and although no one ever wants to hear that phrase “you have cancer”, I was expecting it. We have a high number of cancer related deaths on both sides of my family. My sister, my father, both grandfathers, numerous aunts and cousins have passed away from cancer. In the last year, I have had two uncles and one aunt diagnosed with cancer and one cousin is struggling with hers right now.
I had found lumps in the years before, but they had all been benign. Then, three years ago the biopsy came back that the cells were very abnormal and reproducing rapidly. I was told by the surgeon that I now had to go for mammograms every six months and had to get my family doctor to do a manual check then as well. I had my first six month check up and it was fine. The second one was also fine but four months later I found another lump that had not been there the previous month. I’d done a manual monthly check as I had been doing for years. I had an ultrasound and then a biopsy. This time it came back malignant.
I was very lucky that it had been caught early. The surgeon said it was only through my diligence in manual monthly checks that it had been caught. The tumour had been reproducing that fast and if I had waited another two months when I was to have my mammogram it would have spread too far. After much discussion with my husband, surgeon, oncologist and family doctor, it was agreed I would get a bilateral mastectomy.
The hardest part after telling our children was telling my mom. My only sister had died from her cancer six years prior to that and my mom automatically thought that I was telling her my death sentence. She lives in another province and it was difficult leaving her behind. I have four brothers and sisters-in-law and they had all come home when I was there to tell mom so they could support me. I told my mother that I was going to beat this, that I would be the first one in our family to survive cancer because I had such a positive attitude, a strong spiritual belief, and an unbelievable support system in place. I had made her a “Finding Hope” binder. This binder was filled with stories of survivors, medical reports, information on both of my surgeons from their web sites, information about my surgeries, treatments, etc. At any given time when she knew I was going for surgery or recuperating she could go to the binder and know what was happening. It has become her bible. When she came out to visit me after I had my first surgery, I took her to meet both surgeons as well as my family doctor and they all took the time to answer her questions and make her feel at ease. They all reassured her that although there is no guarantee they all felt that it had been caught in time and she felt so much better.
Not long after I had the surgery, my daughter and I had been out with a group of women and she and I had been laughing about something someone had said about the cancer. One of the women was quite upset that we had been laughing about something that was so serious. My daughter just looked at her and said “That is how we deal with things in our family, we laugh and keep positive, this cancer doesn’t change that.”
When we told our children and talked to them about the choices, etc, we then asked each one if there was anything they had questions about. One son simply asked if I still had faith in God now. I said of course, this doesn’t change that. He replied then they had nothing to worry about as long as I still believed in God and didn’t blame Him for having cancer then he knew I would be ok.
It has been that positive attitude that has gotten me through six surgeries in the last 18 months. It has been that familial support system that has gotten me through days where I spent with my head in the bucket more times than I would have wished for. It has been that sea of pink at the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation CIBC Run For the Cure with my children and grandchildren that now gets me through my dark days. Cancer cannot take that away from me.
The week before the Run I put a poster up on my front door reminding others about the Run, asking them who they will run for. This year I raised my arms up in the picture and made a “muscle” so it would remind me that I am ready to fight this cancer that it will NOT win.
When people ask me why I run, I tell them I do it so that the other women in my family will never have to go through this. That they will never be sitting in a doctor’s office and hear that phrase told to them.
Thank you for listening to my story.
Sincerely
Sally Haysom